When I tell people that I am an author as well, they often ask about the stuff that I wrote. And when I respond with, I write fiction, romantic fiction to be precise. They go ‘How can you be a life coach and write romantic fiction?’ Usually, at this point, I activate the distract mode by smiling and move on to something else.

To be honest, until a while ago, I struggled with this myself. For me, my process or method of writing the stories is entirely different than what coaching involves. They could not be more opposite really,

When I write, I zone out. I am not here now in front of my computer, on my writing table. I am in the story with my characters. I need to know how they feel, how they react, create them, and exist in a different world with them.

I am in my flow, lost to this world and its ways. I relish being the introvert, the creator, and enjoy being the Sutradhar (Narrator) holding, controlling all the elements together.

But when I coach? I am present with my clients, here and now, with them, learning how they react, how they feel, and how I can help them create a path that would help them move on. I walk with them as a companion, encouraging them in their own journey…

In the world of coaching, I give up all the control. I am nothing but a tiny supporting cast in my client’s larger story!

Sounds different?

Yes, different like chalk and cheese, you say?

What if I tell you even though they activate the different parts of my brain, the brain is mine, and I have only one. Even though they start different sorts of emotions in me, all of them, the good, bad, and the problematic belong to me.

We, humans, love our labels, love to organise people into tiny boxes, not seeing how many wrinkles are we causing them, or how many small chips of theirs we are breaking away to get them to fit in our box?

We need them to conform because if they don’t, it will make us uncomfortable. It will force us to re-evaluate, it would ask us to question everything that we know, and most annoyingly, it would force us to take one hard look at ourselves.

So, what if you do? Take one hard look at yourself. I mean, it would be some bits you like and some bits you’ve most likely hidden away, worrying they are not socially acceptable or worrying that certain strata of people will judge you. Why? Because on the one hand, you post intellectually stimulating stuff about liberating your fears, and on the other hand, you post about raunchy memes?

Beats the whole point, doesn’t it?

The sane bits, the quirky bits, and the very very ugly bits are all the bits that make you, YOU. Don’t get me wrong the choice of what to share and how much to share on social media lies with you and absolutely you. But the bits you are comfortable sharing?

Why does it have to be either-or?